I don't remember. Are we still dating?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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