Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
