She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So vagazzling was a success
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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