You can't motorboat a personality
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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