Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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