she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
