Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I will pee on everything he values.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize