C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
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