i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Randomize
