So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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