letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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