jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
