i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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