my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
