I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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