why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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