new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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