he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
It's blow job season.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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