dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
