adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Randomize
