Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
