I can't watch pbs sober anymore
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
that is very illegal...i love you.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
