Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize