And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
