Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
