i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
