i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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