if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
