i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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