it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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