And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
My penis needs a shock collar
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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