No awkward lesbian experiences without me
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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