And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
