South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
