apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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