It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
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