i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
