Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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