Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
