If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
