there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize