Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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