Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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