i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize