hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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