he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize