summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
They took my balls.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
