Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Had phone sex with my boss who I still havenโt seen in person. Howโs your Monday ?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
Randomize
