We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
