I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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