Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
