this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
