Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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