apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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