is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
