I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
