with your own penis?
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
