She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
