I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
